I believe in Love and only Love.
And because of that, I’d never get into a relationship with somebody that I was not in Love with, and there has only been one person that fit that criteria.
We broke apart two years ago, but I am everything but bitter about it, because even though it wasn’t the best relationship, I learned so much about myself, I grew much more as a person, and he taught me some things too.
One thing that caused major problems in the relationship was the fact that I hated the fact that he smoked. Just because, I didn’t want to see him go downhill with all the inevitable problems smoking causes. I didn’t want him to die from lung cancer in the same way my grandma did. I didn’t want to have to live alone without him.
But then he taught me one of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned in my life.
God wants you at a certain time. It doesn’t matter if it’s dying from cancer, or crashing head on into a drunk driver, or if you’re walking into your house as quickly as possible during a storm and you’re struck by lightning. When God wants you, He wants you home, and there’s nothing you can do to stop that.
We’ve all had near death experiences, and if you haven’t yet, you’re in for a real treat. But something’s keeping you held on by a thread, and God just didn’t want to cut that thread yet.
Sometimes, these experiences happen to friends, or family, or even strangers and you feel you were close enough to be able to stop it from happening. You feel that there was something you could have done to change the future, you feel that if you weren’t the friend that was meeting your coworker for dinner that evening, then that coworker wouldn’t have struck that woman head on on her way there and ended her life.
But let’s go back. Let’s go back to many more ifs.
What if the reason that coworker got that job in the first place was due to her mother telling her about it, and she had never told her about it? Then none of this would have happened, and it’s her mom’s “fault.”
What if the mother saw that job on an ad online, and the owner of that store is in charge of the advertising? What if he hadn’t put the ad in THAT website, on THAT page, that her mother just happened to read? Then none of this would have happened, and it’s his “fault.”
What if the reason he heard about the idea to advertise online was because he remembered that’s what his marketing professor in college said was very effective? What if that professor never suggested that? Then none of this would have happened, and it’s his “fault.”
See, we can go back to an infinite number of “what if”s that all boils down to one fact.
Life is like a machine that is constantly in motion. All these little parts of the machine constantly working. All these little “what if”s turning into real actions that turn the gear for the next part of the machine to work. All these things that happen take place because they were meant to happen, and all these things that happen take place for a reason. And if that reason was simply because God wanted that person home, or that reason was because someone learned a valuable lesson that day, then God, or fate, or the universe, or whatever you believe in, served that purpose.
So friend, it’s not your fault, and there’s nothing that you could have done. Have faith that that person is happy and home in the heavens where she belongs, and where she belonged, and where she was destined to be, in that moment, with your involvement or not.
Even with all this in mind, with my deepest empathy, stay strong.
You deserve to be.
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