Numb.

There comes a point in time where you have to think of yourself for once, and whether or not it’s what somebody else wants, you’ve got to protect that heart of yours with everything in you. Because it’s already been broken and shattered so damn many times that the last thing you want is to have to pick up the broken pieces again just as soon as you’re gaining hope that the heartbreak is almost over.

And even though you may really like him or her and want to give that person a chance, it’s probably best to put that shield over your heart and wait for the truly right moment. That person may not even want to come in, then you’re stuck with this person that you really really like but nothing can ever come out of it, because he’s halfway in your heart now and that’s where he’ll stay.

So you have two options. Let him in; which, would be so scary to do, because he might not even be the One, and the person that isn’t the One will just come into your heart and just completely wreck the place. Like a burglar in the night, he’ll destroy it and leave that broken home even worse than the state it was in before.

Or you could throw him out. Which would be a horrible thing to do to him, not even wanting to be friends, but you’ve got to think of yourself! You can’t just have someone halfway standing inside your heart’s door not wanting to come in, then cold air gets in and nobody wants that.

The thing is, you’re a good person with a genuine heart, and you’re truly trying to hold that door open for as long as possible, because you think that he might truly be that One. Or at least a visitor, someone who can keep you company for the time being, one that will just enter and leave peacefully until that One comes along, knocks on the door, and brings flowers and chocolate and all that good stuff, the good stuff he knows you love because HE Loves.

But you can’t have him standing halfway in your heart’s door, unaware of whether he’s entering or leaving. It’s breaking more and more as he’s standing there, growing colder and colder as you’re standing there with the door open, waiting for something to happen. How horrible is it to hold a door open for someone and have them deny the help you’re giving them?

So after waiting such a long time, it’s finally time to make a decision. For the good of yourself, and the good of your heart.

And with this, my own choice has been made. I know that only the One truly does deserve the door being held open for him, and this truly isn’t the case. So I’m sorry. If you don’t want a chance at seeing the inside, don’t trip and fall on your way out. You’re really missing out on a beautiful home though.

Let the steel shield cover my heart, let the chains wrap around, let the locks be infinite, because there will be no one to ever hold the door open for in the near future, again.

Sincerely,

Mike